this one is kind of emotional. and not just cause im pregnant..
graduation. the final piece of my undergraduate career. the last page to that chapter of my life. a transition into a new journey. a wake up to the real world and responsibility.
this post is a couple weeks late but i couldn’t go without saying something about such a big accomplishment. i spent a lot of time in college; it took me 6 years to complete my BSEE but no complaints here i finished, i didn’t quit when things got hard and believe me they did. losing my brother two years ago hurt me in the worst way. it changed me into some person i didn’t know, i lost myself and shut a lot of people out of my life for a long time. i didn’t know how to deal and to this day i still haven’t quite figured it out. time doesn’t heal all wounds, you just learn to live with the pain. one day, someone referred to grief as walking down a beach near the waves. your path doesn’t waiver, you just continue to walk the beach and look ahead and sometimes the tide comes up and hits you. the tide is grief and sadness. sometimes the waves don’t touch you but sometimes they do. you have some good days and some bad days. and that’s how it will always be.
this past friday, the drunk driver that killed my brother and his best friend took a guilty plea. i wanted to write a victim impact statement that my mom could read at his sentencing but honestly even two years later i still don’t know how to express it…
two years later i am now expecting a beautiful baby girl that is due on that same brothers birthday. it gave me goosebumps when i first heard my due date. i cried too. a sign? i think so.. one day ill tell my daughter that she helped mommy walk across and shake the deans hand and ill tell her that her uncle loves her and is always watching over her.