Tired

i get off of work so excited to see the light!

after being inside an office during the most enjoyable parts of the day, i am so elated to pick my princess up and see her beautiful shining face!

and i think of the list of things i will accomplish as soon as i get home. sometimes i even write them down on a notepad, so i can feel good about doing them and cross them off as my prize. my list today includes things like find the papers i need to file my taxes, looking into building a website for my  budding side business, finish the laundry so i can have clean dish towels again, get a quick home workout in since I’ve been in a long work training all week and haven’t had time to go to the gym, and get myself ready for tomorrow. oh yeah make sure i eat something for dinner too.

and then i look around my house and i see what a mess it is. dolls are all over my family room floor covered in blankets and the remaining dish towels (because they are sleepy and going “night night”), i have broken crayons all the way from my bathroom to the kitchen, and various other house items strewed in along the way as well :batteries, cards my little one has colored on, pieces of mail she’s retracted from the counters, shoes, a couch throw, and box of things i need to donate to Goodwill.

i can’t find my fuzzy house shoes cause little miss has decided she likes to try and walk in them, and all she can think about when she walks thru the door is crackers and juice. i know she’s hungry so i try to fix her dinner which thankfully i had already prepared last night. pasta with meat sauce. she doesn’t want it. she wants an apple (which is really an orange) only she just wants to play with it. and now its on the floor, if i had known that i wouldn’t have taken the time to peel it so carefully and remove all the little stringy white things. and she wants her elmo books. but i want her to eat her dinner. she doesn’t want it. i take bites to show her its yummy and maybe she will get jealous that I’m eating her food  with her spoon. she doesn’t bite the bait.

i try to warm up some chicken, she’s a big fan of chicken especially fried chicken, like tenders. but she doesn’t want this chicken. i just want her to eat some dinner. i’m getting tired and frustrated, she’s whining, and i haven’t started on any of my list. she’s not eating anyway so i do some laundry. i walk thru the kitchen and try to find something else she will eat, i tell her ill send her to her bed hungry since she’s being bratty but my heart doesn’t mean that. she sees me pull the bag from the freezer and she shouts “pancakes pancakes !” i smile, I’ve been waiting for her to eat something.

after i bathe her, wash her hair and detangle it, i sit on the couch and i am tired. i eat her pasta for dinner. i can’t find all of the tax papers i was looking for, i don’t feel like moving the laundry over, and do a couple sets of squats to try and keep myself motivated. i catch a toe cramp doing jump squats which is like a sign to me that I shouldn’t push myself. i am tired. i’ve accomplished a lot i tell myself, because its true. so i don’t have the same motivation when i got home that i had while on the way home, my baby girl is fed and clean and smiled and gave me kisses, and a headache, but she told me she loved me and looking at her beautiful face is all that matters to me anyway.

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4 thoughts on “Tired

  1. pascale says:

    U do more than enough baby. .not easy keeping a full schedule. .take it easy sometimes and remember if u are run down then who’s gonna look after you…its ok if periodically she doesnt feel like eating. Trust me she won’t starve..you didnt…lol
    Love uuu and misd miss you girls soooo much. It hurts…..

    Like

  2. pascale says:

    U do more than enough baby. .not easy keeping a full schedule. .take it easy sometimes and remember if u are run down then who’s gonna look after you…its ok if periodically she doesnt feel like eating. Trust me she won’t starve..you didnt…lol
    Love uuu and misd miss you girls soooo much. It hurts….. 😦

    Like

  3. Patricia John (Granny) says:

    I got tired just reading your blog. Do you ask Brielle to please pick up her toys etc. She probably would love to do that, and help you. They are never too young to learn, pick up, put away, help Mummy. The training probably has taken a toll, since it different and you are learning anew thing.
    Remember she eats quite a lot at school, so a snack, or cup of milk is fine for her.
    Like Mom we miss you so much, and think of you constantly. Love you my darling kisses to both of you.

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  4. Genevieve laidley says:

    My darling you need to take a minute and pat yourself on the back, you are doing an excellent job juggling everything. We are all proud of you. Make it a game and ask her to help you pick up. Take some time to regroup before starting a new chore ok. Love you lots, big kisses.😀😍😘

    Like

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